Monday, August 25, 2008

Fancy News: Paving Pandemonium; Mayhem on the Midway.

The reason for that private firm's service vehicle being there in the middle of the ongoing sidewalk work on Main Street this morning, in downtown Springfield, Vermont, Official Home of the Simpsons, and for the presence there of their workers, and for the presence there as well of other service providers' crews, all busily engaged in tasks literally in, on, and about the Great Main Street Excavation of 2008, is that nobody did a dowsing before ripping into the sidewalks like it was their first day running the thresher in the big alfalfa field. Electric lines, telephone lines, lay lines, all torn at, causing inconveniences and outages to local residents and merchants, these adding to the burden of their suffering through all of the attendant distractions of the mechanical interruptions that are to be expected even in the best circumstances with professional planning and preparation ("how 'bout them 'cheese-ola' plywood bridges, anybody figure for lateral stresses at all? What about sea-sickness on the wobble across? What is going to happen when Aunt Bee leans against one of those handrails and takes a header into 4 inches of crushed stone?" - these are said to be the tone of some questions that have arisen in tone-y circles about town). Yes, the residents of Springfield, Vermont, Official Home of the Simpsons, are enduring a job that perhaps seems to last longer and satisfy less at every puff. And let's not get started with the many street lamps that have been konked (please gentlemen, more than one?) and broken and which now need to be replaced. Was someone walking around carrying a ladder in the air and losing his balance all the way down Main Street like Charlie Chaplin? One Clever Wag About Town (cwat) suggested that they wait to order replacement street lamps, since they will be cheaper to buy by the dozen.